If I were to be on the Television show,
“My Strange Addiction” mine would be my obsession of deep
thinking towards life. Too bad I'm slack about writing it all down
and sharing it here. I always plan to write here during my times of
deep contemplation, those plans just don't come to fruition too
often.
Through out my contemplating I also
like to read and research my thoughts as well as meditate and connect
to my guides. I always ponder upon why I'm here, who am I? What's my
purpose? Although I've had
answers, those answers don't satisfy me for long. I'm like a 4 year
old going through their “why?” stage and every answer I receive,
I still reply with “Why?”
We are oneness
having an experience. We are consciousness itself experiencing itself
and becoming aware of itself. We are here to experience and have fun.
When we are born we have chosen to forget that we are divine energy
and the negativity we go through is to push us to question who we
are, life itself and awaken to remembering our true selves, through
this process of forgetting and remembering we appreciate ourselves as
divine. God is all there is, has been and ever will be, God is the
energy or the source of all creation. We are God.
Even after all
these epiphanies which I didn't just hear in my head, but also felt
and understood in my heart, there's me still going, “But why?”
I'm sure my guides are sick of me by now...
So
last night, once again for the millionth time, I asked my guide, “Why
am I here?” I guess those answers didn't quite satisfy me because
I've gone through a lot in my life. And I get it, what I've gone
through has pushed me to ask questions, deep spiritual questions
which have allowed me to remember and experience being my true self.
I guess really, when I
ask, why I'm here I want my guides to tell me what to do with my
life, I want some big, amazing quest to go on but I keep getting,
“You are already whole as you are, you are the divine having an
experience.” “Let go, just be”. While these are beautiful
answers, I don't quite know what I want
to do any more (as in, which “career” to pursue) hence why I keep
asking the same questions that I already have answers for. Doh!
My
guides are light beings, they are patient and loving so to humor me
once more they answered my question. “You are the energy of all
there is, manifested into you
to have an experience”. Now, I swear my inner child must be about 4
because without fail my reply was, “But why?” My guides replied,
“Why do people create and play video games?”
Let's back up a
little here, allow me to explain why my guides would use this
analogy. Firstly, I'm a gamer so this is relatable to me. Secondly,
through my spiritual practice I've realised I am not my thoughts,
feelings or actions. I am that which is aware of those. Just like
playing a game in first person, you're not that character, you're the
being behind it. Thirdly, I found a couple of explanations of what
happens when we die recently and they really satisfied me, one was
“It's like waking up from a dream”.The other was, “Life is like
looking through a kaleidoscope and when you die, it's like coming
away from that kaleidoscope and realising that wasn't you.
My
first thought after my guides asked why people play video games was
“Okay, I'm just nuts, it's just me now, my guides wouldn't say
that”. Then once I got over the initial shock and denial, it
clicked. Life is like
a video game. We play to have fun, which is why we're here and as a
side note, we go through negativity and hardships to push us to grow
and remember who we truly are, we're quite satisfied with ourselves
when we push through our ordeals. Even in video games we push
ourselves through boring quests, scary monsters and practice the same
thing over and over to better ourselves. These are definitely the
moments that I become self aware and wonder why I'm playing
a game and yet am bored out of my brain.
Also there's a
question that everyone has, “Is life pre-destined or do we have
free will?” Of course, as a deep analyzer of life, I asked this
question and I have found, that parts of our life are pre-destined
and other parts we have free will. However, the pre-destined parts of
our life we can still choose not to follow. Did you know we choose
our parents before we're born? Couldn't change that one.
This is like a role
playing game, depending which one you play, you can choose the
appearance of your character, you choose your race, perhaps a human,
dwarf or elf and which one you choose may also influence where you
start in the world. You choose male or female, skin colour, hair
colour, facial features, body type etc. After you're satisfied with
your character's appearance, it's on to choosing your role, will you
be a leader, a supporter or protector? Perhaps you will choose to
support yourself and your friends with magic. You choose your name,
hit the “Create” button and voila, there's your character in the
world. From your initial choices, part of your path is pre-destined,
you're a magic dealer, you're a support class, you're perhaps an elf
and female. As you go out into the world and level up, you can make
new choices to go with the ones you chose before you clicked the
create button. You may choose to use fire magic or frost, you may
choose to follow and complete quests, play against other players, run
through and complete dungeons, explore the world and/or build your
expertise in your chosen professions.
Of course this is
tiny compared to life but just like a video game, our birth date,
name, appearance and parents are all picked out before we're born
plus our birth date and name influence our numerology and
personality. It's also said that we have already planned main events
for our lives before we come here.
I can
see that I chose my childhood,
so to speak and this influenced me to be with my first partner, which
I then became a gamer and if it wasn't for becoming a gamer the
relationship I've now established with my twin flame would not have
worked. Everything I've experienced and chosen up until now has
created my current experience.
Also, science is
discovering it's as though we are within a hologram and being a part
of that “hologram” the whole universe is within us just as the
whole of a hologram is in each piece of it. Theorists are saying that
nothing is outside of us, everything is in our minds. Perhaps our
lives are more like a game than we think.
So here we are, the
energy and consciousness of all playing with form to create us. Let's
have fun and play with our experience!
~Belinda