Being a Realist

Recently I was reading a beautiful children's book to my kiddly-winks called "the Things I Love About Me" by Trace Moroney. It's a book of a cute little bunny who describes what he loves about being himself, from his physical appearances to what he is good at. It's such a great message for children, in fact I believe it's great for people of all ages!

At the end of the book there was a small section written to the parents. The author said that she writes these lovely books to inspire children to think positively and become optimists. She talks about what it means to be an optimist and part of what she says goes along the lines of, optimists still expect things to go bad or wrong but then they deal with such things from a positive perspective.

I'm a positive thinker, I like to practice gratitude and see how lucky I am as I am and find the positive side to things, however, reading this made me realise that I'm not an optimist, I'm a dreamer. You see, I focus on the positive and attempt to purposely create my life through law of attraction and being in the now... so when things go wrong, I get down, I blame myself and I become quite a pessimist really.

This made me realise I need to be more of a realist. I need to know that sometimes things don't go as planned and that's okay! The funny thing is, that I thought I was like that but it was only reading this book that made me realise I speak it but I don't walk my talk.

So now that I'm aware, I'm practicing being more of a realist. Still being in the now and practicing positivity and law of attraction, but also knowing that all is okay even when things don't go as planned! I've also been reminding myself that when things have gone wrong  in the past, it's all worked out in the end. Lessons learned and better outcomes anyway.

Namaste

Belinda

How to Discover True Happiness

Many people look to change things, create more and hope for peace and happiness in the future, but life is happening right now so be happy and fulfilled now by accepting and being in the present moment, this is the secret to happiness. 

Before we look at how to be happy, let’s first awaken and understand why we may be unhappy. 

Unhappiness comes from negative thoughts and reactions. Most people’s thoughts are on auto-pilot based on their past and many are focussed on negative thoughts instead of positive. Most people live with a void, feeling as though they need to change, achieve goals and perfect their life and themselves before they can feel fulfilled. 

People try to fill this void with material wealth and achievement, holding their happiness in the future with the idea that when they’ve achieved all their goals and fixed their problems, they’ll be happy. Unfortunately this is an impossible task as there will always be more to achieve and more problems as long as you continue to believe that fulfilment and peace are outside of you in the future. Whether you’re happy or not is based upon your perspective, happiness is an inside job which you choose and create. You can awaken and realise in this very moment, you are completely whole and fulfilled.

You are that which is aware of your thoughts and feelings, not the thoughts and feelings themselves. When you label yourself, especially with negative thoughts, you only hold yourself back. Just like being able to choose happiness, you can choose any thoughts or feelings including the way you describe your life and yourself or simply choose not to. Be open to the possibility that you can be, do or have anything. 

The thoughts and feelings which disempower you are the ego. The ego is the continuous thoughts running through your mind and the feelings accompanying them which you’ve become identified by. However, this is not who you are, you are that which is aware of the thoughts and feelings. This presence does not think nor judge, it just is. Notice as your thoughts are running and feelings arise, you’re aware of them, you can bring your attention to this awareness. You may experience small snippets of having your attention on the awareness at first and as you practice you’ll feel it more each time, for longer periods. This awareness is who you essentially are, your true self, the oneness which connects everyone and everything. To understand and experience your true self more you may like to practice meditation, read my last post for a how to guide on meditation.

So, to be happy, practice awareness of the ego (which is what creates unhappiness) and let go of your identification with it by realising you are the stillness behind the thoughts and feelings. Life is happening now, not yesterday or tomorrow, stay present in this moment and be joyous knowing that happiness is an inside job which you create. When you just be in the moment, you experience a sense of indescribable peace and bliss. It’s indescribable because to describe it would only make it into an idea, a thought, bringing you back to thinking and being in the mind, re-identifying with the ego. 

Namaste

Belinda

Meditation

Meditation is a practice used for relaxation and rejuvenation. It brings you to a state of peace and bliss, clearing the mind of the day’s stresses so you can live happy. The purpose of meditation is to bring you to the now and to awaken to your true self; you are that which is aware of your thoughts and feelings, not your thoughts and feelings themselves. This is mindfulness meditation. Through contemplation and practice you can sense who you really are. As you meditate every day, you will continue to gain a deeper understanding of yourself and the world. There’s no end to the depth of the indescribable feelings and senses which you gain through meditation.

Meditation can help to let go of past grudges that you may be holding towards others, situations or circumstances, let go of any worry or anticipation for the future and bring you to a state of no thought. Life is happening now, not yesterday or tomorrow. During meditation you may also have epiphanies, perhaps relevant to a problem you may be experiencing or simply associated with life itself. Practicing every day balances the mind, body and spirit. The best way to gain an understanding of meditation is to try it yourself.

How to:

There are many different ways to meditate, from sitting cross legged to lying on your back, even moving poses. You may chant “aum”, focus on your breath, body, energy or chakras. You can take yourself on journeys to your own sanctuary or practice happiness meditation by focusing on positivity. You may connect with your higher self and find solutions to any problems. Here are a few ways to practice meditation.

Mindfulness Meditation

Meditation is about living and experiencing life right now. Try this exercise and then bring it with you throughout your day:

Close your eyes and pretend as though you’re new to this world, you have no labels or ideas about anything. Take a few breaths to let go, feel your energy, relax and just be. Open your eyes with the idea that you’re seeing everything around you for the first time. You may pick up small items from around you, preferably things that have no sentimental meaning to you or writing as those types of things cause you to think.

Most people simply label everything, that’s a pen, a keyboard, a tree but when you do that, you never really look. Pick up an object that has no meaning to you and really look at it, if this is your first time you may realise you never really looked at anything because you’re so entrenched in the mind and in thought. Try this exercise outside and see the true beauty of nature. Bring this with you all day, stay present and feel joy in everything you do.

Breath

Find a quiet, comfortable place to sit with no distractions. If you’re out of practice sitting with your legs crossed then sitting with your legs forward is fine. Also if you’d prefer to lean back on something such as the back of a chair, you may, however be aware that by being too comfortable you may fall asleep.

Close your eyes and take a moment to adjust yourself to be sure you’re comfortable. With your eyes closed, begin to focus on your breath. Take slow deep breaths; use your imagination and your senses to focus completely on your breath. Feel it move through your nose, down your throat, through your chest, into your belly, all the way down to your hips and back up and out again. Imagine watching your breath as it moves down your body and back out. Use your senses to feel as your body moves, expands and shrinks, feel as your chest, belly, sides and back all expand with your breath. Feel the oxygen throughout your whole body.

You will find this exercise very relaxing. Other than relaxation, the purpose of this practice is to bring you to a state of no thought however, you can’t try not to think as that is more thinking! This exercise distracts you away from thinking. As you practice, you will find thoughts sneak back in, each time you realise, simply re-focus on your breath. 

Noise and Sound

Eventually through practice every day, you will realise there are no distractions outside of you and you will be able to keep your concentration through external noise. It’s only your internal noise which distracts you, your thoughts. When there’s noise around you, you can simply stay as the awareness and use it to practice focussing on your senses. Listen to any sound completely, with no labels or thoughts about it, listen to the silence between the sound and listen to the space which allows the sound to be.

You can, of course, purposely use sound for meditation. Put on some meditation music and listen completely or head outside to listen to birds, wind in the trees, waves crashing on the beach and even cars passing by. There are also binaural beats which can be found online for purchase or for free which assist you to have a deep meditation.

Body

While focussing on your breath can be a full meditation in itself, it can also be a starting point before practicing other meditation types. Always start by getting comfortable and focussing on your breath for a few minutes to gain the initial relaxation. Once you are in the state of stillness you can then focus on your body. Start with the top of your head, relax and without moving, try to feel the inner energy of the top of your head. Move down your body to each part, relaxing and feeling your inner energy.  Relax your forehead, feel the inner energy, relax between your eyebrows and feel the inner energy of the top of your head, forehead and between your eyebrows all at once. Keep moving down until your whole body is relaxed and you can feel all of your energy. It may feel like a buzzing, tingling or warmth.

If you’ve never felt your inner energy before or are having a hard time gaining an understanding, try this small exercise: Lift your hand so it’s not touching anything. Close your eyes and try to feel your hand, the inner energy of your hand. You may feel a warmth or tingling. If you’re having trouble feeling it ask yourself, “How do I know my hand is still there?” Then feel for the inner energy.

Journey

You may take yourself on a journey or imagine yourself in a relaxing place. You can use this type of meditation to completely let go and surround yourself with peace and serenity and you can also use this to connect to your higher self. Here are some techniques and examples.

Secret Garden

Start by relaxing yourself through awareness of the breath. When you are fully relaxed, imagine yourself in a beautiful garden. This is your secret garden, a place for you and only you. It can look and feel any way you like, have things in your garden that relax you and bring joy. Imagine the look of the plants, flowers and any wild life which may be in your garden, enjoy the vibrant colours. Imagine the smell of beautiful flowers and even herbs. Contemplate how the ground feels under your feet and touch the soft petals of the flowers. Imagine the sound of wind through the trees and the sweet sound of birds singing. What else can you see, touch, hear and smell in your garden?

Train Journey to Meet Your Higher Self

This meditation, I stumbled across a few years ago and I’ve had quite profound experiences with this practice although I have only used it 2-3 times. The train journey meditation guides you to meet your higher self. Your higher self is that which is connected to all, it is who you essentially are. Remember, you are not your thoughts and feelings; you are that which is aware of your thoughts and feelings. When we practice meeting with our higher self within meditation, it’s to tap into our subconscious/oneness/true self. Just like your secret garden, your higher self can look however you wish. You will see your higher self as a separate being to you but this is only because this is how we as humans are comfortable, as this is how our world is, people are seen as separate but your higher self is a part of you and a part of all. If you have a problem you can ask your higher self, you will usually have an instant answer that you just know and this is because you are bringing your subconscious knowing through to conscious knowing.

People with different belief systems have their own interpretation of who they meet and what they see during meditations. Some believe they meet with God or Jesus as they are Christian in belief, others believe they are meeting with Angels who are there to guide them in life and some believe you may meet ghosts, spirits and demons. These people warn that when doing such meditations simply imagine a bubble around you which guards against any evil, choose your favourite colour and put out the intent that it’s for your safety and you only wish to see that which has your best intentions at heart. I personally believe that when I meet other people during meditation, it is aspects of myself. For example, I have met with my inner child. I don’t believe in evil demons trying to take over my body or scare me however, I still put my shield on as a precaution.   

Once again, begin by relaxing through breath awareness. Once relaxed, imagine yourself at your train station. This can look how you’d like; this is your station after all. There may be other people there, or it may be just you. Look around your station, how does it look and feel to you, what features does it have?

When you’re ready, a train will come. Board the train and find a place to sit. Enjoy the train ride, look around at the features of the train and watch out the window, what do you see? Eventually the train will go around a large bend and soon after you will arrive at another train station. This is where your higher self is. How does this station look? You may leave the train and go sit with your higher self, ask any questions you feel you’d like answers to, perhaps ask about any problems you may be experiencing in your life. You may not always receive an answer but there will be times when you’re amazed by sudden epiphanies. When you’re finished meeting with your higher self, board back onto the train and go back to your station.

During this meditation you may also meet others on the train. I personally meet different aspects of myself on the train which I only realise who they were afterwards but I always have a very profound, eye opening experience with great epiphanies and lessons.

Through daily practice you will find that your life is happier, peaceful and more at ease. With the practice of mindfulness meditation, you will expand your awareness and live in the now. Your reality and life is in this present moment, live completely by being here and now and find that everything naturally falls into place when you simply just be.

Namaste

Belinda

Well-being is an Ongoing Practice

Over the last few years my strive in life has been for happiness and well-being. I added practices into my life such as positive affirmations, awareness and meditation hoping to reach enlightenment.

More recently I was watching a video of a psychologist talking about different techniques of counseling, a great lesson that I took from the video was, well-being is not something you get then have forever, it is something you work on every day.

I was one of the people he spoke about when he said many assume that you just get it and voila, your life is great from now on… seems silly now! I realize that while practices such as awareness, gratitude and meditation can bring you to the now and have you feeling amazing, once you stop you can easily slip back into negative feelings and thought patterns. I have done this over and over in my life. I tend to become lazy in my practice and before I know it find myself in low vibration and feeling negative which sparks back the motivation to practice again.

Not this time! Now that I’m aware of my pattern as well as aware that well-being is an ongoing process, I will continue practicing every day. Another great thing about spirituality and growth is that there is no end to the growth, no end to the depth and it feels more wonderful every day!

Another assumption people make about well-being is that they will feel good when everything in their life is perfect. As long as you are looking for peace and happiness outside of you, you will never find it. If you hold the belief that you need to gain more and things need to change before you can be happy then you will never be happy for as long as you are focused on what isn’t quite right, you will continue to notice more and more of what’s not right. Even when you fix what’s wrong, something else will pop up for you to change or fix.

Don’t wait for things to change or for something to happen, well-being is a practice of choosing positive feelings in the now. Find the practices that you love which bring you to the now, to peace and happiness and take time out for yourself every day to feel good! They may be meditation, exercise you enjoy, spending time with friends and family, doing art and craft, singing, dancing, reading, watching an inspirational movie, simply do what you love and love what you do. Practice gratitude about your life right now and realise how lucky you are by contemplating how things could be worse. Life is an amazing journey full of joy and discovery, enjoy it! 

Namaste

Belinda

Love Yourself

I always wanted to be someone famous, for years I wanted to be a famous singer, then I wanted to be a famous designer, then a famous writer, then a famous motivational speaker… However I was quite the opposite, I sat in my bedroom by myself dreaming.

Then one day, it hit me, the realization that I only wanted to be famous for others to like me because I didn’t like me. I survived through a bad childhood, being treated less than a person and then moved into a love (or lack of) relationship where the same thing happened, these experiences left me feeling insecure. The dream of being famous was an idea of love and acceptance from others.

It took me a little while longer to realize that for others to love and accept me, I had to love and accept myself! As I awoke to my true self through spiritual practice, I realized I am equal to everyone else just as they are equal to me. We are more than our job and class status! The epiphany, knowing and experience of oneness brought me not only to the realization that I must love myself but that I am love.

As I began to love and accept myself through the practices of awareness and gratitude, I met my twin flame and felt loved and accepted by him and others. There are still moments when I feel insecure and the great thing about those moments are the lessons which come with them. I still had within me the dream about success, slightly different than before. I no longer wanted to be famous but I did want to be accepted and supported and I thought that by becoming something, as in, getting up somewhere in a career, I would feel fulfilled. Once again I had to awaken and remember the fact that I am fulfilled as I am, I am whole.

I was recently contemplating my life and I thought, “Wow, I absolutely love my life as it is right now”. My spiritual practices are deep and meaningful, I have hopes and dreams and I appreciate all the small things every day. My current dream for my life is to continue doing what I love every day. It’s no longer about becoming something as I know what I truly want and that is to love, be loved, be happy and know my true self and those I have right now. I’m no longer looking for acceptance from others through my actions.

So my lessons from this to you is to practice some awareness about yourself and your life and ask yourself why you lack the things you do, perhaps it’s limiting beliefs or lack of self love and acceptance, whatever it is, ask yourself what you want to be different then ask yourself why? What feelings would you like to gain through gaining something new? Realize you are that feeling and all feelings are available for the choosing.

As I mentioned earlier, I did have a bad childhood, bad relationships and terrible self esteem but through this I learnt love is available to me if I choose it to be and when I choose to love myself. Although there was a lack of compassion towards me from others, it taught me that I am much bigger, much greater than my little ego, than those past experiences that no longer exist; I am love, just as you are love and I have the compassion within me.

Practice positive affirmations and see them happening around you and know they are also within you. Love yourself, practice gratitude everyday and practice the awareness that you are not only your ego, your body, your mind, the thoughts and feelings which rise and fall through your mind, but you are the awareness of those.

I truly believe that what we think we want is never what we truly want! Our real underlying want is to awaken to our true selves. Unhappiness is what gives us the will to want and it is this will and wanting which leads us to awakening.

Happy Contemplating :)

Namaste

Belinda