Tuesday, 22 October 2013

Love Yourself

I always wanted to be someone famous, for years I wanted to be a famous singer, then I wanted to be a famous designer, then a famous writer, then a famous motivational speaker… However I was quite the opposite, I sat in my bedroom by myself dreaming.

Then one day, it hit me, the realization that I only wanted to be famous for others to like me because I didn’t like me. I survived through a bad childhood, being treated less than a person and then moved into a love (or lack of) relationship where the same thing happened, these experiences left me feeling insecure. The dream of being famous was an idea of love and acceptance from others.

It took me a little while longer to realize that for others to love and accept me, I had to love and accept myself! As I awoke to my true self through spiritual practice, I realized I am equal to everyone else just as they are equal to me. We are more than our job and class status! The epiphany, knowing and experience of oneness brought me not only to the realization that I must love myself but that I am love.

As I began to love and accept myself through the practices of awareness and gratitude, I met my twin flame and felt loved and accepted by him and others. There are still moments when I feel insecure and the great thing about those moments are the lessons which come with them. I still had within me the dream about success, slightly different than before. I no longer wanted to be famous but I did want to be accepted and supported and I thought that by becoming something, as in, getting up somewhere in a career, I would feel fulfilled. Once again I had to awaken and remember the fact that I am fulfilled as I am, I am whole.

I was recently contemplating my life and I thought, “Wow, I absolutely love my life as it is right now”. My spiritual practices are deep and meaningful, I have hopes and dreams and I appreciate all the small things every day. My current dream for my life is to continue doing what I love every day. It’s no longer about becoming something as I know what I truly want and that is to love, be loved, be happy and know my true self and those I have right now. I’m no longer looking for acceptance from others through my actions.

So my lessons from this to you is to practice some awareness about yourself and your life and ask yourself why you lack the things you do, perhaps it’s limiting beliefs or lack of self love and acceptance, whatever it is, ask yourself what you want to be different then ask yourself why? What feelings would you like to gain through gaining something new? Realize you are that feeling and all feelings are available for the choosing.

As I mentioned earlier, I did have a bad childhood, bad relationships and terrible self esteem but through this I learnt love is available to me if I choose it to be and when I choose to love myself. Although there was a lack of compassion towards me from others, it taught me that I am much bigger, much greater than my little ego, than those past experiences that no longer exist; I am love, just as you are love and I have the compassion within me.

Practice positive affirmations and see them happening around you and know they are also within you. Love yourself, practice gratitude everyday and practice the awareness that you are not only your ego, your body, your mind, the thoughts and feelings which rise and fall through your mind, but you are the awareness of those.

I truly believe that what we think we want is never what we truly want! Our real underlying want is to awaken to our true selves. Unhappiness is what gives us the will to want and it is this will and wanting which leads us to awakening.

Happy Contemplating :)



1 comment: