Tuesday, 10 February 2015

How Far I've Come

Recently I had many goals in mind and had forgotten to be grateful. When I forget to be grateful I tend to fall into negative thought patterns, wanting to change everything with the background thought of “Once all my goals are achieved, I'll be happy” Instead of realising that to be happy I just need to remember how lucky I am. Over the years I've learned there's a fine line between working towards goals and being grateful. I've also learned through experience that to attract what you want, you have to be grateful for what you have.

As it hit me that I was over due to practice some gratitude, I began to think of all that I have, instead of what I don't. I thought back to how my life had been in the past to how it is now and remembered what I had wanted in the past and many of those wants I've attracted and created. I couldn't believe how far I've come and I also couldn't believe that I'd been ungrateful and had begun feeling as though I needed more to be happy.

I grew up with abuse, my childhood was a mess. My mum was, for lack of a better word, psycho. People would meet her and ask me how I'd turned out so normal. I'm not joking! When I was 16 I continued the pattern by dating someone who was also psycho. He was a psychopath, very deceitful and manipulative. He emotionally and financially abused me for 6 and a half years and we had 2 children. He threatened suicide when I tried to leave, he did many things to stop me from seeing my friends and family and he squashed me and my self esteem. When I finally escaped the situation, I met someone else. Once again, I was controlled, manipulated and treated badly. That relationship lasted 8 months.

When I was 19 I had begun my journey into spirituality. By the time I'd gone through 2 bad relationships, it was time to love myself. I'd practiced self love before but this time, being single, I had no one to try and push me down. I meditated regularly and was grateful towards myself, I focused on my strengths to gain self love. I let go of needing anyone else to love me and knew the person I needed to love me, was me.

I fell in love with a man who is strong and confident, who is spiritual and not afraid to show his feminine side. He's funny and loyal, he listens and cares, he gives me a shoulder to cry on and picks me up when I'm down. He raises my self esteem and best of all, we treat each other with love and respect.

All of the toxic people from my past are gone! I'm surrounded by people who have my best interest at heart and who I have the best interest at heart for. I no longer have people who try to push me around, disrespect me or treat me in any way unfairly.

It's been 4 years since I met my fiance and he's all the things I ever wanted in a relationship, my children are all happy and confident, I home school my kids and every day is wonderful. I practice loving myself everyday by being grateful towards myself and accepting me for who I am and I can see now that I am surrounded by loving people, I've changed my life by loving myself first and building my confidence. I meditated on peace and happiness and now I have it. I changed my vibration and energy to stop attracting toxic people. I'm so proud of myself and how far I've come.

How to change your life too:

  1. Meditate and relax. Give yourself permission to take some time out. Meditation has many benefits, I love to regularly turn inward to correct any negativity towards myself and talk to my guides and higher self.
  2. Be grateful. Remind yourself of how lucky you are, compare your life to those worse off than you, recognise how far you've come, feel the bliss of gratitude.
  3. Love and accept yourself. Practice gratitude towards you. Know that you are an amazing, unique expression of life itself. Look into the mirror and say out loud, “I love you”.
  4. Be specific about what you want, know and trust that your wants and desires are manifesting but don't rely on them for happiness. Use steps 1-3 to find your inner happiness and 4 will take care of itself.

I share my story in hopes of helping others to find self love and happiness. If you enjoyed my post, please follow me :)


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